The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Randomize
