census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Randomize
