Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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