Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
