He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
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