Hey man sorry I got all grabby
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
