Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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