Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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