He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize