I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
