So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize