Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
vagina is talking i cant
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
