absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
2020 sucks, I want a refund
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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