She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
