I accidentally had phone sex last night
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Randomize
