everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
