I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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