i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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