hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
