I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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