are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
