he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize
