This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Houston, we have a blender
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Randomize