He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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