Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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