Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I'm like, not good at living.
Randomize