yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
