and she was petting her beer can
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Randomize
