Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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