these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
