Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
