Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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