I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
