It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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