I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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