return my video game
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I just found puke in my bra..
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Randomize
