Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
My orgasm happened in two different decades
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
