Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
