Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
