She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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