it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
