are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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