I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
