we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
If its not for food we ain't going out.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize