well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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