I wanna bring you to show and tell
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
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