I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize