I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
