how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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