if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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