I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
