your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
