On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
