I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
