So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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