Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
