the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
