honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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