i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize
