Plan B is the new Plan A
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
