Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
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