Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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