and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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