my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
