i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
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