I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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